Ok I am working now and wont be on exept on evenings and early mornings gtg

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, It's square and it has your picture on it
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
" Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

One Liners



Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
Some minds are like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises!
Be ye fishers of men. you catch them - He'll clean them.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.

I like this armored car, even though it is a French vehicle. Why do I like it? Because of its capabilities, it is amphibious, it actually floats like a boat and has a top speed of 60 mph on land, and has a heavy weapons mount